It’s your job as a woman

It’s your job as a woman

            I had one of the shifts that I hated the most. It was a shift from seven to three. It was on a Friday and I was just ready for the weekend to start. Like always at Dunkin Donuts there is a rush from 7am to about 10:30am. It was about 12 and I was ready for the day to be over. It felt like there was only one person coming in to buy coffee every hour. It had been the slowest I had seen our store. Since there weren’t too many customers and a lot of coworkers we were all just in the back talking and joking amongst each other. Somehow the conversation of children came up and everyone was talking about when they wanted to have children and how many children they want. So, I felt comfortable enough to say that at this point in my life I didn’t want children. Of course, there was an awkward silence from my coworkers. Then they all looked at me and nodded and said well yea a lot of people don’t for many reasons and at least you know what you want. I smiled and thought that this was the end of the conversation. Until one of my coworkers said “It’s your job to have babies.”

            According to the Washington post “Fertility decisions, of course, are affected by a lot of factors besides the economy, including cultural norms and access to birth control.” Although there are many other reasons for all women my decision to not have kids is mine. So, when my coworker told me that it was my job as a woman to have a child it took me a second to really think about what he had said. So, I tried to as calmly as I could ask him why it was “my job” to have children. He then tried to make the argument that it was in my anatomy and that it would be selfish of me and it could make my relationship or partner unhappy. I am usually really good about letting people make their argument and listening to them. I began to feel my whole body get warmer and warmer as he kept talking. Finally, I had had enough I tried to calm myself down as much as possible. I told him that my partner should love and respect me and my decisions and if they aren’t okay with it then that is understandable. Then I had to make a point about saying that I were being selfish. I began to ask him how is it selfish of me to want to focus on my career and not bring a child into this world that I was not prepared for. I reminded him that women have never been selfish because they put everyone else before themselves but this one choice that women still don’t have complete control of is selfish. As for him saying it’s our job I reminded him that women don’t get paid to be mothers. I reminded him women have to sacrifice their bodies, mental health as well as physical health. Women have to put their life and wishes on hold in order to take care of this child. I wasn’t done talking and he began to talk over me. This is when my manager had to pull us aside. He told us “You both have different opinions but you should respect them.”

            Now I understand that he had a very strong opinion about this issue but I do not respect someone’s believes that doesn’t respect me.