But aren’t you Latina

But aren’t you Latina

It was my first year of college, in Ohio, alone and completely out of my element. I went from warm sunny California to -18 degree Ohio. Still I was excited to start this new chapter of my life to finally realize who I was without my family or friends. Moving to Ohio however opened my eyes that I was fortunate to live in California. I was not only away from the city, but I was faced with the reality that Ohio and a lot of places all over the world weren’t like California at all.

In almost all the classes I was in it was either me and two or three people of color. I was always told “Wow you’re so tan!” or “You have such a cute accent.” At first I didn’t think anything of it but I did find people that said this very strange. However, I realized that many people that were born and raised in the small town of Delaware Ohio had not experienced meeting a lot of people of color. But I didn’t completely understand how I was being perceived as a Latina woman until I met Robert.

Robert attended Ohio Wesleyan University and was a junior. He was a blue eyed blonde haired all American boy. He was a fire fighter so naturally I was intrigued. Although I had never dated anyone and didn’t really want to date someone my freshman year in college Robert and I seemed to always find a way to spend time with one another. We soon started to spend almost every day together and felt like we were together even if neither of us would say it. It truly did feel like one of those cliché movies where u find an amazing boy in college but after winter break it changed into a horror movie.

It was January and I was not excited about returning to school because I had realized I missed my family and friends. I was also not excited at all of coming back to snow and to the beginning of a new semester. So naturally I was homesick I felt like school would take forever to be over and that the summer would never come again. I would call or facetime with my family and immediately after hanging up I would me a mess. However, the one constant thing in my life in Ohio was Robert. He was always there to console me and reassure me that summer would come very soon. Although I thought everything would return back to normal it didn’t.

Robert and I had spoken about us and what we wanted to be. I was still sure that I didn’t want a boyfriend because I would go back home in a few months and I was really focused on school. So, we kept it casual. We were there for each other for emotional support. He was also aware that I was a virgin and that I didn’t really have any intention on having sex with him. Although one night while Robert and I were lying in bed watching a movie he made it very clear that he wanted to have sex. I still did not feel the necessity to be with him so I stopped him. I pushed him away a few times until the last time when I felt really uncomfortable. I sat up and said “stop”. He looked at me confused and almost hurt as if I owed him this. He finally said “I honestly don’t believe that you’re a virgin.” I laughed as if it didn’t bother me and asked him “Why would I lie about that.” Now I thought that I knew Robert but his response completely shocked me.

He said “Come on babe, you’re a Latina your people have kids when they are like 15.” For a second I could hear it in my head as if he had said it over and over. I couldn’t snap out of it, I felt like I couldn’t move or breath. I just pointed to the door, and he had a confused look on his face. I finally realized what he had said and simply told him to get out of my room. He was trying to hold my hand and I just kept yelling “Get out!” I slammed my room door and I was sure that every other girl in the dorm heard.

I sat on my bed thinking about his views on me and my culture. Was I just seen as a baby making machine, had the media oversexualized Latina’s or portrayed women as careless. Although this incident made me angry beyond belief it taught me how wrong people can be and how assumptions about a certain group can be biased and completely wrong.