It's Easier That Way

I’m a twenty-one year old college student and I’m straight edge. I’ve never taken a single drag from a cigarette, hit from the blunt, or sip of alcohol. I’ve been completely sober my whole life, which is unheard of when you come from where I do and hang out with the type of people I surround myself with. About two or three times a day I get asked, “You trying to hit this?” and “Why don’t you just try it?” I always reply with the easy answer, something like,” I just don’t want to.” I do this because I’ve never felt comfortable telling my friends the truth. I’ve never openly talked about it because I’m convinced my friend Tito would say something along the lines of, “You’re just being a bitch,” but in light of recent events I felt the need to do so. So here it is; this is my reasoning.

I was raised around two heavy drinkers: Uncle Eric and Geraldine (Gerry). They both gave in to alcoholism, and allowed it to ruin their lives. Uncle Eric is pretty bad, Flor’s seen videos of him, but Gerry is the real reason I vowed to stay sober. She wasn’t my real grandmother, but she practically raised me. She’d always take the younger kids on walks around the neighborhood and buy us candy from Red’s Liquor. While she bought us sweets, she bought hard liquor for herself. She’d buy the mini bottle of cheap Vodka every few hours. Nicest lady in the world, but a mean drunk. Gerry would lash out when she was on her high, and then apologize for her actions the moment she came down. We knew she didn’t mean it however, so we loved her anyway. After a while of drinking a few bottles of vodka on a daily basis, she got sick. I watched her transform from a woman full of life into a soul-less old lady.

When she got really sick, my parents stop letting me go see her because they didn’t think I could take it. I went a few months without contacting her, before our last interaction. The night before she died my parents took me to her house and I sat with her bed-side. They knew what was happening, but I didn’t. My parents went into the other room, and allowed me to speak with her one on one. We spoke for about thirty minutes, and at the end she asked me to promise her that I’d never smoke or drink.  That was the very last thing she said to me, so of course I agreed. She could see the pain in my eyes, and how her addiction not only affected her, but her loved ones as well. So, I guess that’s why she asked me to stay away from that stuff, so that I didn’t be the reason someone would have that same look in their eye when speaking to me on my death bed. Me being a little kid I didn’t make anything of it, but as I grew up I started to see why she wanted me to stay clean.

Once I turned 21I started to have temptations. “One drink won’t hurt,” I thought to myself every weekend, but managed to refrain. As the temptations began growing stronger and stronger, God sent me a sign. On Tuesday, March 21, two days ago, my closest friend in life was involved in a hit and run. He was driving under the influence in Santa Monica when he hit and killed a pedestrian. Very bright and polite individual, but a few drinks led him to make a poor decision. He’s only twenty-one years old and facing 10-15 years in prison, and for what? Not everyone makes bad decisions under the influence of drugs and alcohol, but I’ve witnessed it ruin the lives of three people I’d give the world for.

Collective Events conducted a study on the most popular gateway substance, and the results pointed towards alcohol. This recent event gave me all the more reason not to partake in these activities, because the first time isn’t usually the last time. But, the next time someone asks me why I don’t want to take a hit, again, I’ll say, “I just don’t want to,” because it’s easier that way.