“Having you was heaven on Earth. You were my first and only
love throughout high school, and we didn’t officially meet until we were
juniors. For about two years I admired
you from a far. I’d never been the type to walk up and approach a girl out of
fear of looking thirsty, but this felt different. I remember it as if it were
yesterday. It was the first day back from winter vacation when the silhouette
at the end of the hall appeared before me. Long dark brown hair, wrinkled
Nirvana shirt, denim washed overalls, and untied shoe laces. I’d never seen
anything so perfect.
As my lips retracted to speak, you
opened your mouth and beat me to the punch. “Hey, Davontae, how was your break?,”
And it was on. Just like that, the fluttering lump in my throat made its way
down my esophagus and detoured into my heart. Over time we became inseparable.
For about two years it was me and you against the world, and then something
changed. You opened my eyes and showed me a whole new world, but then it went
downhill. I know it was me that stopped feeling, but you were the one that
broke me.
I loved you so much, more than you
loved yourself. And that’s why I had to leave. Losing you has been my biggest
heartache, but only because I know now how it made you feel. I too showed you a
new world and took it away. In losing you, I lost me, but it led you to find
yourself and that’s all I ever wanted,” is what I should have said to my ex
girlfriend when we broke up a few years ago. But instead, I sat back and
watched her hurt. I couldn’t bring myself to walk back into her life knowing
how far she’d come in moving on. It hurt, watching her hurt, but I knew it was
for the better. According to Joseph Erbentraut’s Huffington Post article How Long it REALLY Takes to Get Over a Break
Up, on average it takes about 18 months. I don’t believe this is the case
however. I am a strong believer in the idea that you never really get over your
first love. You may not want to be with them anymore, but the feelings will
always be there, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
On the Professional Counseling
website, there’s a full section on how to move on from an old lover. The page
reads, “First
of all - being emotional costs loads of energy. You may well be tempted to
spend your time thinking about the lost love, nurturing every thought about him
or her. Perhaps you're even devising imaginary (or real) plans to rekindle the
love that never was, or that's now considered dead by the other person.” The
way I see it, if people have to seek outside help in order to erase someone
from the mind, then that’s a sign that they aren’t supposed to forget about
that person. Having love and memories for someone that you used to know doesn’t
mean you aren’t ready to love again. Reminiscing on something you used to have
can be helpful when moving into a new relationship. The previous relationship
can be used as a building block towards a better connection with someone else.
No comments:
Post a Comment