The Feminine Cherub

Allayah Beamon

March 8^th, 2016

Breaching the inside of her chased and virgin body unwillingly

A thirteen-year-old

And her vaginal organ opens,

The door to her intimate world is now unlocked with her consent

His Penis, becomes a brick and breaks down her walls,

Pain is the only thing she felt,

forcing himself again and again

As the Sperm and Egg unite,

The X and Y-chromosomes marry,

The two now create one,

There are two heartbeats in this one temple,

Mother and daughter are now connected,

A new life is brought into this tragic world,

ONLY for a interim moment,

I am a Feminine cherub,

I am a Feminine cherub,

My surroundings are Dark,

In this closed in womb,

 I am growing slowly in her slimy guts,

Bones and organs expanding,

Making her pelvis, like a solid fat,

Bear belly, except carrying another person,

I breathing slowly,

Jolting my feet at the belly, keeping me enthralled,

My surroundings are blurry,

I can feel, hear, and sympathize with my mother’s pain

 I can taste all the food she consumes,

I am a Feminine cherub,

Blood all over the sheets, leaving them all red,

Death is evident,

My life has ended, SUDDENLY

Jolting stops, hearing, growing, is no more

 I’m free from this Dark, Slimy wound,

My pre-teen mother was supposed to bring me into that tragic world,

Some call home,

No blowing out candles,

Or singing happy birthday,

Everyone crying in the Saint Francis hospital,

Leaving that place and dwell into another dimension,

My vision is now clear, because all I see is white,

All babies go to heaven and I believe I am here,

The golden gates and angels with white wings on their backs,

God approaches me with a warm welcome!

And I enter Paradise.

I am a Feminine Cherub.

Mother and I are now disconnected because my soul has floated to a new dimension,

She remembers me but knows she will see me again in this Paradise,

I was a four month old,

Feminine Cherub,

who’s life was cut short,

Miscarriage?

But I believe the man above just decided,

 It was time for me to come home,

Paradise Here I Am!

Reflection

“Feminine Cherub” (Baby Girl) is a very gloomy and depressing poem, although Anne Sexton’s “When Man Enters Woman” inspired it. The story is about a miscarriage I had at the age of thirteen that truly scarred me. Even today I reminisce on that depressing situation and in order to fully recover my damaged heart, I decided to write a poem about it. This process was not easy at all; a lot of tears were shed. The main reason for writing the “Feminine Cherub” was to release those emotions that had been bottled up inside of me. Ultimately, I felt better after finishing it and presenting it to the class. The moment the poem was complete I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulder. I had been tugging that burden along for 6 years and it cause me to resent the miscarriage but I now have an understanding and I have put it in my past and I have triumphed over that obstacle because the baby is in a beautiful Paradise with my heavenly father. The poem was a free verse persona poem.  The voice of the speaker isn’t mine; it is the baby’s voice. Despite her being dead I gave her a voice and she was able to tell her experience with death. I used many images, symbols and objective correlatives to add to the depth of the story. Some of the images in poem are striking and explicit because I wanted the readers to know imagine the images I was describing. This poem was written to affect the readers in an emotional way. I know the beginning is really depressing and heart aching but I needed to express the feelings I had in the poem, in hopes the readers would feel the same way as they read the poem. However in the very last stanza I ended on a positive note. God has found the baby I lost, and she is in a better place called, “Paradise” (Heaven). We are never completely apart, she is just temporarily separated from me; and we will meet again when I am called to Paradise.