Dear Daughter,
As I write this letter to you with a heavy heart, a
man named Donald Trump currently sits in the most power position in the world,
as the president of the United States. I hope you are not born soon, or at
least not in the next couple of years, but even if you are I’m sure you will be
absolutely beautiful. My heart is heavy because I ache knowing all too well the
world you will be born into, and it isn’t a pretty one-especially for a woman.
I wish I could say we were all equal. That when you
finally got your first little retail job over the summer you’d be getting paid
the same amount as your male-counterpart. Despite opening and closing the
store, and organizing inventory all the same, you’ll be receiving 20% less than
him-even if it is you reminding him of what his weekly hours are.
You’ll come home and ask me if it was a mistake, and
you’ll have little tears swelling up in those big oceanic crystals of yours,
and I won’t be able to respond- because I know it wasn’t a mistake and there
aren’t any words for me to explain that it isn’t your fault, it’s just the way
things are.
You and I are going to fight. We’re going to bicker
about why you shouldn’t take ubers and taxis alone. You’re going to tell me I’m
being dramatic and overbearing, and I’m going to tell you that one in five
women in the United States gets sexually assaulted every year.
This means, my beautiful girl, that while you’re out
with your clique, one out of the five of you or two out of the ten of you, will
indeed be sexually assaulted, if it hasn’t happened already. You’re going to
say “bullshit mom” and rush out the door with the high-heels you stole from my
closet, and I’m going to be sitting at home praying you’re okay the whole time-
because I cannot fathom anything happening to my other half.
I’ll buy you pepper-spray and bear mace but you’ll
tell me that your university has banned the carrying of both because it once
leaked into a girl’s backpack and therefore is considered a hazard to the
student community.
I’ll scream and throw Italian hands in the air because
this is the world we live in as women. Where the statistics show that women get
assaulted, but we are often are so limited in how we can protect ourselves. I’m
going to sneak a spray or two into your backpack, anyways because I’d rather
you be safe than sorry.
I need you to remember my love, that you are beautiful
and smart-talented and wise beyond your youthful years. Never, ever, EVER, let
a man tell you or convince you otherwise. You are strong, and independent. You
do not need a man to succeed in this life or the next.
But if you fall in love, my darling, make sure it is
with a man with a good heart and a good mind. He is not to be disrespectful to
you, to talk down to you, or to make you feel lesser than you are. If he one
drunken night puts his hands on you- you may think “boys will be boys”, because
that is what our society has taught us-that if a man puts his hands on us, he’s
just being a man and its truly a sign of affection. WRONG.
Your aunt Alexis once told off two women in the school
yard whose boys were picking on you. The women said, “they’re just being boys”,
“I’m sure they just want to be friends” and your aunt Alexis replied, “no, you
should be teaching your boys how to treat women with respect because that way
they will grow up to be kind to women, and not to shove them into walls or beat
them black and blue.”
Did you know my love, that The Los Angeles Review of
Women reported that in 2014 alone, “L.A. County law enforcement agencies
reported receiving 39,145 calls for assistance related to domestic violence?
Thus, such targeted violence, women may become isolated, unable to work and to
care for themselves and their children”.
Almost 40 thousand women reported being assaulted,
terrifyingly so, this number excludes all the women who were too scared to
speak up-which based on recent reports is staggeringly high as well.
Boys will not be boys, remember that. Settle for a man
who will care for you and motivate you to be the best version of yourself and
push you to achieve all your wildest dreams. Settle for a man who will talk to
you, not at you.
I wish I could say the world has become a safer place
since my childhood, but it has only gotten worse. I wish I could say that we
didn’t have a president that refers to women as pigs, dogs and meat. That his
rhetoric didn’t encourage aggression towards women, but I can’t. I can only
teach you to not settle for less, to speak so loud against this oppression that
your voice is heard all the way back home in the mountains of Italy. I can only
teach you to rise, and to keep rising.
I can only remind you that you are beautiful, smart
and wise. That you will succeed to matter what you decide to set your heart
into. I can only comfort you when the tears of injustice soak your worn teddy.
I can only encourage you, support you and love you like no mother has ever
loved before. You are beautiful, and you will never need a man to succeed
because you’ll obtain the world just the way you are.
I am forever proud to call you my daughter, my love
and my other half. I will always be here for you, my princess.
Xoxo,
Mom
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