Lipstick Wednesday

Lips and lipstick-sensual symbols- a night out on the town or a romantic dinner for two. High heels and short dresses. Club music or a candlelit dinner. This is what comes to mind when I think about lips and lipstick. 

Sara Hartless, 22, a Connecticut raised and Arizona dancer thinks about self-confidence and self-healing. When thinking about lipstick, Hartless remembers how her self-worth plunged somewhere in the pits of hell almost four years ago, when she was sexually assaulted.

After feeling so worthless and depressed after her assault, Hartless one day decided to put on some lipstick, which allowed her to finally feel like herself again. When walking down the streets of Arizona, Hartless felt beautiful, receiving compliments and praise.  Her self-esteem and confidence slowly seeping into her veins once again, a life restored.

With this, Hartless began her own personal movement- to come forward with her assault. From there, after hearing about Bill Cosby, Brock Turner and Donald Trump in the media, Hartless decided she wanted to start an organization called Lipstick Wednesday. The organization promotes and provides a safe space for women who have been assaulted allowing them to engage in a dialogue about what happened to them, how they are healing, and what they can do together to make a safer community for each other.

“Lips are sensual, yes, but they also symbolize keeping a secret. The darkest secret a woman can keep”.

Hartless explains how women grow up in a society that normalizes rape. That rape “isn’t a big deal” that it is something that “women can get over”. Rape, as demonstrated from the various cases that have gone viral, like the Brock Turner case, must be explicitly violent to be considered rape.

Hartless angrily explains, “I think what infuriates me the most is how society turns against the victim-asking what she was wearing, or how much she had to drink…I was wearing a baggie t-shirt, shorts and Chuck Taylors”.

Society doesn’t think about the victims, or the eternal damages done to them.

“I did not have a menstrual cycle for 5 months. I wasn’t pregnant. My body just shut down entirely”.

I heard Hartless’ voice break over the phone. A pained silenced echoed through the radio-waves. I heard her heart break into a million pieces all over again. The sound of failed promises and faulty legislation breathed unsteadily-the sounds too many women in this country are familiar with.

What Does It Mean to be a Woman living in a Trump Nation-

My question had lingered in the air for several painful moments. A cacophony of silence on both ends.

“As a victim, I feel like my assaulter was just elected”.

Additionally Hartless explains, “for women to be coming forward with their stories and for them to be negated in front of the entire country, it’s like our nation is saying that they don’t matter. That I don’t matter.”

Living under a Trump nation as a woman, is terrifying. According to Meredith Melnick, of the Huffington Post,  “This is the major force of rape culture: Not the moment of violence, but the use of your body as a cheap stepping ladder. It isn’t just Trump, who grabs your pussy ― an ugly, straightforward thing ― it’s Billy Bush, who offers your pussy to his friend in whispers, making the world unsafe in ways you can sense, but cannot see.”

Hartless hasn’t been able to sleep or eat regularly since the election, and she explains that she doesn’t know whether it is because she’s a woman, a survivor or both.

Melnick powerfully questions,

 “Who could I have been if I’d grown up in a culture that saw me as equal and worthy?”

Questions banged against the windowpanes- “what does it mean to be a woman anymore”, “what will become of us”, “what are the young men and women going to learn from this”, “is anywhere safe anymore” ….

Hartless continues, “I started Lipstick Wednesday to help women who are scared, who need to share their stories, who need a safe space”.

Hartless created this organization to not only to help women, but to also help the current state of women in this country. Not only are there heightened tensions between men and women but also tensions between women themselves. Alina of USA Today explains how, “exit polls show 53% of white women voted for Trump, pushing him to victory. They looked past his obvious misogyny, and in doing so, created a deep rift among American women.”

Hartless want to create a safe space, a dialogue, and then to begin rallying against the systemic issues that oppress and mute women across the country.

The organization is not limited to women either, it is open to men as well in hopes that they too will not only share their stories but help the overall cause.

“Although I am the founder, and it has my stamp- it is not solely mine. It is the community’s as well”.

Hartless details that she has several yellow lined legal pads filled with ideas on how to expand her organization. She hopes, with help from her community, to develop the organization into a non-profit; to partner with LGBTQ organizations across the country; and to enact a type of ‘AA’ meeting space across college campuses in which assault victims can meet and talk about their experiences, their traumas and their emotional well-being

Hartless has a meeting with The Woman’s Resource Center on her campus later this week to discuss change, how to make resources more readily available to students, and possibly partnering together with Lipstick Wednesday to transform victims into survivors. To positively enhance the state of women in her community and further, in this country.

Join the movement and throw on your best shade of Lipstick on Wednesdays and hashtag your pictures #LipstickWednesday. Support your women by spreading the word about this organization, contribute to the dialogue, and fight for the state of women in this country.