Generation Grindr

Generation Grindr

Steven* is sitting across the table from me, fiddling with the torn seams at the bottom of his jacket as he reaches for his phone. “My favorites are Scruff and Grindr” he says. He swipes open his phone and a collage of shirtless men come into view. “This guy is 12 ft away, creepy huh?”. Steven has been using dating apps like Grindr for about 5 years and the role of these dating apps have played a huge part in the way he dates. “I think because of the increased use of social media and the importance of virtual presence, that it isn’t a necessity for people to use dating apps. Kinda makes it possible for us to meet people we wouldn’t otherwise meet” he says. And he’s definitely not wrong. According to The Atlantic, “American adults ages 18 to 24 used online-dating sites and apps at an average rate for all American adults—about 10 percent. Since then, that rate has almost tripled”. More and more people are starting to use these apps almost exclusively but the question that is still raised is why. “We get bored quickly and we’re always looking for new interactions or entertainment, it’s exciting and addicting. The need for attention makes it a no-brainer to have a dating app” he says in reference to why millennials are constantly flocking to download.

The constant need for instant gratification doesn’t stop there, the search for the perfect partner only makes these apps easier to navigate. “I love how selective you can be and filter out the people you don’t like” Steven says. But what about the gay community as a whole, One would think apps of this size would affect the community it involves. As Steven reached across the table to grab his coffee, his phone lit up. “I think it had helped create a subculture of its own and became a thing like “oh he’s on grindr, so is he”, it’s created a promiscuous arena for men but also brought together the community because they’re all looking for the same things”. This sex positivity is not unknown to most millennials in college. In fact, according to Rolling Stone, “One 2012 survey from the University of San Diego found that 58 percent of respondents said there was nothing wrong with sex before marriage, and another study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that 45 percent of us of have had casual sex, compared to only 35 percent in the Eighties”. So, it’s apparent that times are changing and the sex positivity that these apps can allow also make headway for those hoping for exploration.

Steven looks away from his phone and eyes the barista behind the counter. “He’s on Scruff, super nice dude.” I had asked him if I could ask him questions too however it was made apparent he wasn’t completely out. “A lot of down low guys like to have grindr or Scruff, gives them an opportunity to explore their sexuality without being outed. But it does a lot of damage in sexualizing gay culture. As if gay guys only want to hook up with each other versus having a relationship.” This hookup culture that our generation is known for having, while providing an outlet for those who want to explore, have damaging effects to the gay stereotype that we are trying to stem away from. But is that all these apps are? Just to provide for the demand of instant gratification within our self-created hookup culture? “The end result of grinder depends on my mood, when I’m sick of these assholes and want a potential partner, I don’t want to be on these dating apps. But if I’m bored on a friday night then yeah I’ll use it. You get what you’re looking for”. Steven shoves his phone into his backpack and gulps down the last drops of his iced coffee. He leans over the table to kiss my cheek, “Make sure to tell them about the dick pics, so many dick pics. They’re everywhere!”. I laughed and wondered if we all use these apps as a crutch or if they empower us to leave our comfort zones. As I finished my thought, my phone buzzed. *3 notifications on Tinder*.

*Name has been changed to honor Anonymity