Heartbreak

Heartbreak

At times, the end of a relationship can be an excruciating experience. Whether it is a romantic relationship or a friendship, letting go of someone you love and care about is tough. I unfortunately experienced the loss of both a friendship and a romantic relationship at the same time. I was in my final month studying abroad in Madrid, Spain when I received the text from my former friend Madison that read, “I have something to tell you. I have been wanting to tell you for a long time but I wasn’t sure how to.” I did not think much of this message at first. I just thought she might have had something personal about herself that she had not been willing to tell me until that moment. “Hey, what’s up?” I replied in a very unassuming manner. It was the next text message I received that completely changed the life I had known for the last five years. “A few months ago on my birthday I got way too drunk and Michael and I hooked up. I am so sorry. I didn’t’ want to ruin our friendship, which is why I never told you.” My heart sunk to my stomach and my mind went into a whirl of confusion. Michael and I had been together for nearly four years and Madison and I had been close friends for five years. I was completely distraught. That night was the end of my relationship and a friendship with someone who I considered a very good friend.

According to an article by Laura Schwecherl, “Heartbreak is a term used to describe crushing grief, anguish, and distress, often due to the pains and strains of love. The experience of heartbreak can be so intense that some scientists suggest it can feel the same as physical pain.” At the time, I knew the sensation that Schwecherl describes all too well. I felt like I had my heart broken by two people at the same time. I was a complete mess for the weeks (or months it’s all a blur now) that followed. It was like having the floor ripped from underneath me and falling. Falling into what seemed like darkness. I felt empty and hopeless. It was like being kicked in the back of my knees, forced to buckle down and collapse to the floor.

Today, I recall something significant that my mother said to me in the midst of my painful healing process. She said, “There is a lesson to be learned from this and one day you’re going to see this as a blessing.” Of course at the time, I could not imagine ever being able to consider what had happened to me a blessing. But now looking back on the situation I can happily say that my mother was right (as she always is) and I can point out the lessons I was able to learn from the entire experience. I learned that even after the worst of times you can heal, there is always a lesson to be learned from pain, and most importantly, I realized my self-worth.